Arrive

arrive

“He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

“This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them—for this is their lot. Moreover, when God gives someone [so many blessings and beautiful things], and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God. They seldom reflect on the days of their life, because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart. (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20) 

I’m 29, holding onto my twenties for dear life and yet, still feeling just a little too jaded and old, to be classed as a young millennial anymore. The problem is: the big “Three-Zero” is this year and I’m supposed to have “arrived” by now right? No matter how “woke" I feel, I still feel the pressure: I don’t own a home, or have any children and up until three weeks ago; definitely did not feel divinely purposed or called to anything. I just about had a vague overarching life vision that helped guide my sense of purpose in life and I was, on the whole, content. Still, when it comes to ‘adulting’ I struggle with the basic concepts; keeping on top of my emails, let alone messages on my phone or on WhatsApp.

I don’t know about you, but coming from a background of modern evangelical churches that have big vision and excellent production quality, with a desire to encourage and inspire and speak greatness over people’s lives; I got to a place where I found the idea of destiny and purpose so overwhelming and a little bit spiritually crippling. I don’t know if you get in that place too sometimes. What I love about yoga and the practice of being mindful is that it emphasises the present moment- exactly here, exactly now, as you are.  I love that God has made everything beautiful in ITS time, not according to MY time line, or according to a time frame thats in keeping with what my friends and cohorts are doing around me- but its own time. I found and still do find, great comfort in these passages from Ecclesiastes. 

Sometimes because the narrative of the world is louder than the still gentle whisper of His Holy spirit when it comes to my spiritual life I have this same nagging sense of "why am I just not there yet?”.

Why do I still fear?

Why do I still worry?

Why am I still jealous and unkind sometimes, why am I still so unforgiving sometimes and stubborn? 

Consider your life.

When the relationship doesn’t quite work out like you’d hoped; when the feelings of futility come flooding in, when it feels like life is passing us by and everyone is just somehow having a better time than we are, when it seems our one shot at significance has slipped through our fingers, when we can’t sort our emotions- in short when the fallenness of the world closes in on us and makes us want to throw in the towel- there! Right there, in those moments, we have a Friend who is not exasperated or disappointed by our need.  Instead He sits close to us, embraces us, is WITH us, and asks us to consider the birds and flowers of the field- to stop breathe and BE PRESENT because “arriving” is not the goal; BE-ing is. Jesus is inclined from his own heart and affections to give us help and relief and even more than that, He is inwardly moved during our sufferings and mishaps, mistakes and awkward moments, “with a sense and fellow-feeling of them”.  

My tendency to feel that the more difficult life gets (the more pressure we feel to arrive at whatever arbitrary definition or place we think we should be or need to be), the more alone I am; and as I choose to wallow in that pain I sink further into felt isolation but Jesus comes and says, ‘Lo, l am WITH you always! Even unto the end of the world’, because sometimes it really does feel like it is the end of the world and I love that the bible corrects me. I love that I do not have to outsource my affirmation and comfort from my partner or peers (although big up community, love having a close supportive network). What I am saying is, even when alone we are never alone, our pain never outweighs what he himself endured. That sorrow which feels so isolating, so unique to me and my pain was endured by him in the past and is now shouldered by him in the present. 

This week arrive into the glory and grace of surrendering to him. God loves you as you are, because of the cross; because of Easter weekend just gone, your striving can cease. Your effort, however little is enough in Jesus name. He is always always turning towards you, with loving kindness and compassion. Give yourself permission to embrace yourself with that very same, loving kindness and compassion just as you are, no ifs or buts, not waiting for yourself to arrive before you hold yourself in love. 

Beloved move and breathe like you love yourself, like Jesus loves your self on the mat but more importantly off the mat too. 

I honour the dignity and divinity within you Beloved- may it shine forth and be a light unto your path and to others, a lamp unto your feet: guiding and directing your steps today. Until next time, go in peace and be well. 🧘🏾‍♀️✨

breath in

this present moment: let go of any desire to grieve the past or fret over the future.

breath out

expectation or pressure: arrive into your self and in this present moment exactly as you are; knowing you are exactly where you need to be.

Enjoy your practice!