Connect

Connect

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. [Isaiah 40:30]

When anxiety overwhelms me, Your consolation delights my soul [Psalm 94:19]

I am worthy of love. This was the affirmation, I had on my heart and mind this week. A little cringe-y to admit, even worse to say out loud, let alone try to live out. Why is that? I’ve mentioned before how the biggest point of disconnect for me when it comes to mindfulness and self care is how it relies on me and emphasises freedom (from stress and anxiety) and salvation (a better way of being in my body and in my life), through self effort. John O’Donoghue in his book: ‘To bless the space between us’ says it best, “much modern spirituality and psychology is full of loneliness… it has a hunger at its core that inevitably breeds narcissism and the mechanics of relentless self observation.” Joy is found, not in a journey of self discovery, but of self forgetfulness, remembering and focusing instead on the one who did it all. Connecting with yourself- knowing who you are, is about knowing who Jesus is and being in His presence. My worthiness has been irrevocably conferred onto me, because of Jesus I am worthy.

“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” The most selfless thing you can do is fill your own inner well by being in God’s presence. When we are running around half filled we subconsciously look to things and people around us to give us the nourishment and nurturing that we so desperately crave and even those things and people have a limited capacity to fill my, seemingly endless, need. If our inner well isn’t full, we will find ourselves wanting things from the outside world to fill it. This is our body’s instinctive way of reaching for the grounding and nurturing that we are not allowing ourselves.* I love that the beginning of this bible above talks about God’s infinite nature how endless and plentiful his ability to restore and refresh me is. How vast and deep His desire to tenderly comfort and nurture me is. 

“Positive psychology asks the question: how can you cause thriving flowers to blossom and flourish, instead of asking how can withering ones thrive.”* I don’t know about you but often I do not feel like I’m thriving (a word that’s already pretty hart do nail down and define anyway), by whatever standard or measure you use, I’ve found myself, at the end of myself this week. Between being back at work, juggling my social commitments, wanting to make time for my spouse and my family, it just feels like I’m drowning, not thriving. I am living on that treacherous edge between tiredness and burnout. 

We all get over worked and tired every now and then, but burnout is more than tiredness. Burnout is when stress becomes chronic and has a detrimental effect on other areas in your life. Signs of burnout include: chronic exhaustion alongside, restlessness and trouble sleeping, poor self care such as diet and exercise. As well as other things like repeated emotional distress, low mood, anxiety or anger outbursts. You may notice your performance at work is going down, though you may feel like you are working harder than ever. You may also start feeling disconnected from loved ones and struggle to get along as well as you normally do with friends and/or family.* If burn out is on the horizon- like it is for me, there are some things we can do put on the breaks.

Some of the helpful ways to counteract burn out are: start working out what you can say ‘no’ to. Often we feel obliged to say ‘yes’ to every request or opportunity. Practise the art of saying ‘no’ to things that are not an absolute priority. Especially if your health and sense of well-being is in question: prioritise self-care. Get back to basics because they are the foundations of good mental health. Make sleep, healthy food, hydration, exercise and social time top of your to do list. Don't underestimate the power of these things to build your resilience, I know I often do. Finally rethink what matters; we are vulnerable to burnout when we are working hard on something that is not in line with our own values. Taking time to think through how you want your life to be, the kind go person you want to be or the impact you want to have can help to get clarity on how you can redirect your life in away that suits you. (For more, see @drjuliesmith’s post on Instagram on 15 May)

These last few weeks back at work have been a stark reminder of why and how my yoga practice became so important to me. Although I love hospitality, the job demands a lot physically, and emotionally quite taxing. I am constantly pouring out to my colleagues and customers. I suppose Rachel in Friends did not do justice to the profession (haha). Often its just about having to deal with ego. (Thats the hardest part of any job really though right?) My own ego and insecurities about doing something I love thats still largely looked down upon unintentionally by society. Dealing with the customers ego “some will receive my services gratefully, but others will make my day difficult going out of their ways to be punitive and demeaning”*.  There is a disconnect between the job being fun, fast-paced and ideal, yet still falling short and ‘life-taking’ more than it is life giving. 

Are all adults just perpetually tired? Is it just me? It seems the pace of life is relentless. What do you do, to connect to yourself, what you care about, who you are and what you value and also recharge and connect with God? To reconcile the disconnect between: what I want my work and life to be like and what they actually are. It doesn’t have to be yoga, but for me thats what it ended up being. The release of tension in my muscles and in my spirit as well was life giving at the end of a shift. I found I was able to give something good of myself back to James, not just the dregs of myself because my customers and colleagues and had gotten the best.

I remember my first few years in the working world, coming home everyday so bewildered and hurt- shocked at all the ways high school dynamics still play out into adulthood and more over, into professional working environments. I hope I am not alone in this, I take comfort in the words of Henry Nouwen: “Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: “These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity, and held safe in an everlasting embrace. Act ahead of your feelings and trust that one day your feelings will match your convictions.”  You are worthy of love.

And so, I am worthy of love, you are worthy of love Beloved. We practice self love because Jesus said to love others like you love yourself. If I loved those nearest and dearest to me the way I was treating myself, what kind of love would it be? Do I talk about myself and to myself so negatively to such an extend that I have made an enemy of myself? Even in that, take heart Beloved, Christ calls us to love our enemies too. So if you’ve made an enemy of yourself - love anyway. How will it end if the war is just you against you? More importantly who will end it? Connect back with yourself. When worry and anxiety fill me I feel disconnected from life, others and most of all my self but we were made for connection to creation all around us, for fellowship with friends and family and most of all for the souls communion with God. 

I love these words by Black Liturgies: rest reminds you of your dignity. Both you and I are worthy of living grace-full lives. That can only come from our souls finding full replenishing rest in God’s presence, whether in yoga or meditation or prayer or Bible reading.  Whatever soul replenishing rest looks like for you, may you gear your life more and more toward unapologetic rest Beloved. Busyness will not prove your popularity. Bodily neglect will not prove your importance. Exhaustion will not prove your worth. May you go into this week knowing you are already worthy and oh so truly beloved. May your life this week be an overflow and extension of Gods good grace-full abundance towards you. Beloved heaven is both under your feet here now as well as over our heads, because of course how we spend our days is how we live our lives. Lord in these moments in the mat help me connect back to you to live in the full freedom that you have died for me to have. Help me connect back to myself, to build a bridge between my heart and my mind and your Holy Spirit

breath in

any tension and anxiety, that may be holding you back from embracing God’s love and freedom for you. You were made for love, you are worthy of love. 

breath out

 connect with your soul and tune into God’s unforced rhythm of grace. Learn to live in Holy communion and connectedness with His Breath (The Holy Spirit) present and moving in your life, in this moment on the mat. 

Enjoy your practice! (its a lovely little 21mins long)

ImagoDei Wellbeing & Yoga meditation flow (it’s 27mins long) 

(Christ-)Mindful Tip:

If you do the ImagoDei Well-being & Yoga flow, maybe bring some nice smelling lotion or body oil; maybe light a candle or make yourself a cup of tea- its a lovely soothing slow flow definitely worth trying if you haven’t had a chance to do any yoga yet. 

References (in order of appearance):

To bless the space between us, John O’Donoghue 

Work your light, Rebecca Campbell 

@drjuliesmith’s post on Instagram on 15 May

Every moment holy,  Douglas Mckelvey